


Lukewarm

by Bletchly



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types
Genre: Bisexual Male Character, F/M, Light BDSM, M/M, Multi, Rating: M, S&M, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 03:48:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25696801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bletchly/pseuds/Bletchly
Summary: Starts in Eclipse during the tent scene. Up until then same plot, from here the story deviates quite a lot from the original. Also, be warned, I'll be editing and rewriting this in no particular order.
Relationships: Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Edward Cullen/Jacob Black, Jacob Black/Bella Swan, Jacob Black/Edward Cullen/Bella Swan, Jakeward - Relationship
Comments: 12
Kudos: 35





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Starts in Eclipse during the tent scene. Up until then same plot, from here the story deviates quite a lot from the original. Also, be warned, I'll be editing and rewriting this in no particular order.

Finally, after regaining her warmth, Bella fell asleep in Jacob's arms. It felt good to have her close to him again. Jacob had worried he'd never get the chance after the fiasco up at the lake. Luckily Bella's hand had healed nicely. Now she is fast asleep. He's never seen her like this, so serene. "Care to keep your thoughts to yourself?" Edward mumbles from the other side of the tent. "Care to stay out of my head?" Jacob snaps in reply. They sit in silence for a moment before he says quietly, "You know she's in love with me too". Edward's jaw tightens, "I don't know if that's true". Jacob nearly starts to argue, but then he says, "but you might be right". Edward looks as if he might be about to say something else, but stays quiet. Bella shifts in her sleep and they both look down at her. "We both know I'd be better for her", Jacob says after a while. "She wouldn't have to change for me, she'd get to live, experience life as a human being", he goes on and Edward chuckles. "Of course I know that", he says, "but I can't force anything on her, I've tried, but it doesn't work". "What if she changes her mind?" Jacob asks quietly. He looks down at his hands. "Then I'd let her go" he says. The sadness in his voice is almost touching. "You wouldn't try to kill me?" Jacob asks and Edward laughs. "Tempting", he says and tilts his head as if considering it. It's strange, Jacob has thought of Edward as his main obstacle for what feels like forever. Sitting here in the dark tent, barely lit by a small lantern, telling him he'd let Bella go, go to him at that, he doesn't look at all dangerous. "But I could never hurt her like that", he says finally. "Thanks", Jacob says, they both laugh quietly. Once again their gaze falls on Bella. Hearing, feeling, Jacob's thoughts at knowing she's safe stirs something in Edward. There may be a centuries old feud between them, but they care about Bella equally. It's easy to feel a kind of unity sitting like this, both being relieved she's not shivering anymore. Relieved that, for now at least, she's safe. Edward lifts his gaze to Jacob's face. There's nothing but love in his expression as he looks down at Bella. It seems so silly now to think that he used to believe he was in any way a danger to her. Worse yet, in this moment, Edward cannot find it in himself to dislike him. Just as he smiles to himself Jacob lifts his gaze to meet Edward's. They lock eyes and Edward cannot keep himself from holding it. "I really would let you two be happy", he says finally, after the long pause becomes too uncomfortable. Jacob breaks their eye contact to look back down on Bella. It's strange to think that she's the only person standing in the way of them being together. He wonders if it really is because she doesn't want him, or... thinking back on it he realises he knows why. Has known for a while, but he's ignored it. It's so obvious and really quite simple, he hasn't wanted to listen to her properly. She told him not to make her choose, but consistently, selfishly, he has asked her to do just that. "Sounds about right", Edward says with a quiet laugh. It finally sinks in, Edward has never really been standing in his or Bella's way. He wants her to be happy, even if that means her leaving him. "Exactly", Edward whispers as Jacob looks up at him. And as he takes in Edward's sad smile it's like gravity shifts. Somehow, he can feel it even though it shouldn't be possible, the world falls away, leaving only, impossibly, Edward. He cannot really believe it, but Jacob can feel the bond forming, and as soon as Jacob knows it Edward knows it too. Jacob's mouth falls open, he cannot hide his shock. Then Bella stirs awake. "Don't you dare tell her", Jacob thinks, wishing he could shout it. "I won't" Edward says. He looks completely sincere, if a bit shocked and Jacob relaxes just a little. "Won't do what", Bella asks, propping herself up on her elbow. "Complain", Edward lies quickly, "if you need to stay near Jacob to keep warm". She smiles, still looking drowsy. Jacob doesn't know what to say, or what to think for that matter. "Well that's good, it's still freezing in here", Bella says and shuffles a bit closer to Jacob. "What time is it?" she asks. "Not sure, but it's nowhere near morning", Edward says, "you should get some more sleep". Bella yawns. "Maybe", she sighs and closes her eyes. Jacob doesn't know if he prefers Bella to be asleep or awake. Then Edward shuffles a bit closer. He takes Bella's hand and squeezes it. She smiles, already half asleep. It has to be some sort of mistake. Edward looks up at Jacob, he looks conflicted. It shouldn't be possible. "Maybe it is", Edward says, Bella seems to be asleep, at least she will be very soon. The frustration, and disappointment, is starting to well up in Jacob. "I'm sorry", Edward whispers. "Stay out of my thoughts", Jacob says looking away. "I can't, not really", Edward says apologetically. And Jacob cannot simply leave either, Bella needs him to keep her warm. "I'm sorry", Edward says again, as if that's going to help. The tent is beginning to feel claustrophobic, Jacob is struggling to breath. Edward wishes he could do something, it somehow feels like it's his fault. He lifts his hand as if to touch him, then thinks better of it. Jacob stares at Edward's hand, hanging in the air between them. "Please just go outside", Jacob mutters, "she'll be safe in here with me". Edward nods. He doesn't want to leave, but realises it wouldn’t be fair of him to stay. He looks at them both one last time before he lets himself out. Something is already changing in Jacob's mind, his feelings towards him growing stronger, both good and bad. Something surges in Edward too, if he still had a human heart he's sure it would be racing, though he doesn't quite understand why. Before giving it anymore thought he steps out into the night and closes the tent.

When the sun's starts to rise, Jacob leaves the tent. They should wake up Bella soon, but she'll stay warm on her own for a few minutes. At first he cannot see Edward, but then there's a blur and he appears standing in front of him. "You should wake her up, but..." Jacob says and averts his gaze. The only thing he could really make up his mind about lying awake in the tent is that no one, absolutely no one could know. "I know", Edward says sincerely, "I won't say a word, I promise". Despite himself Jacob believes him. Edward smiles weakly. Thinking about it for hours had made Edward wonder, if Bella didn't have to choose, what would she do? What if she simply didn't? He felt a newfound tenderness for Jacob after seriously considering the possibility of Bella wanting Jacob as well as him. The thought of them together used to fill him with dread, now he isn't sure what he fees, but it isn't dread. What if she did want them both? In a way it would be a relief to not have to feel any guilt about getting inbetween them or worry that Bella would resent him for it. "Can you hide it from the others?" Edward asks furrowing his brows. "Not entirely", Jacob replies, "They know I'm with Bella so they're not surprised if... But I just need to make sure to keep my mind off it when I'm in wolf form". It's not going to be easy to hide it, but Jacob just doesn't see any other option. "Seth's coming", he says, "you should wake up Bella". Edward starts toward the tent, then pauses for a moment to consider Jacob. Could he share Bella with him? If she asked him to he cannot imagine himself telling her no, though he's not sure what it would mean to say yes. How the imprinting affects that possibility he doesn't know either. Jacob's smell has changed since last night though. Edward has hated the smell of every werewolf he has come into contact with, but now Jacob smells almost... nice. Could the bond be affecting him too? Seth appears at the edge of the trees, interrupting Edward's train of thought. He walks into the tent as Jacob changes into wolf form. He cannot hear a trace of the previous night in Jacob's mind. 

Bella is already waking up inside the tent. "Seth's arrived", Edward says and sits down next to her. "Has Jacob left yet?" she asks as she sits up. Edward pulls a lock of hair behind her ear and says, "no, not yet. Him and Seth are securing the area". She nods and adjusts her shirt. She looks worried, but there isn't anything he can say to sooth her that he hasn't repeated a hundred times already. Bella looks up at him and says, "I think I need some air". Edward nods and takes her hand, helping her up. He opens the tent and holds it open for Bella. She steps out and takes a deep breath. "Better?" he asks and smiles when she nods. "Oh, and I'm sorry about last night", she says. "Don't worry", he replies, "not my favourite evening, but your wellbeing is more important". Bella smiles. "I'll make it up to you though, I promise", she says and steps closer to him. Edward can hear the whispers of Jacob's thoughts coming back towards the camp. "You've already given me everything I could possibly want", he says with a smile. "What do you mean?" Bella smiles. "Your hand in marriage", Edward says, "Mrs. Cullen". She laughs, "This is the 21st century, I at least wanna hyphenate my name". Edward smiles weakly. Jacob's thoughts are louder now, and he's upset. Edward feels a sting of guilt, maybe he should have told Jacob himself last night. "You're marrying him?", Jacob sounds hurt enough Bella flinches. "Jake, I..." she says and walks toward him, but then she turns back towards Edward. "You knew he was listening", she says accusingly. Edward looks from Bella to Jacob. "He deserves to know", he says apologetically. Jacob has started to walk away and Bella breaks away from Edward to follow him. "Jake, stop!" she shouts after him. Edward moves to follow her, but Bella holds up her hand, "Don't". As Edward watches them both leave he hears Jacob briefly making the same observation as he did earlier. Edward doesn't smell bad to Jacob anymore either. 

Jacob stops at the edge of the cliff when Bella comes up behind him. "Jake, I'm sorry, I... I should have told you", she says. "What difference would that have made", Jacob snaps at her. It comes out harsher than he meant it to. He's sure he should feel differently towards her, given last night's disaster, but his feelings seem entirely unchanged. "What can I do", Bella asks desperately. It's all a bit too much to process. "There's nothing you can do", Jacob says and shakes his head. He has to get away, get away from them both, to clear his mind. "I'm better off going down to help in the battle", he says and begins to walk away. "No, Jake, wait", Bella says, "you're not thinking straight. Please, just, stay". Jacob stops, "Why? What's the point", he says, sounding defeated. "I don't want to lose you, you're too important", Bella says, pleading. It hurts to see her like this, but all Jacob wants is to be alone, or at least some distraction. Besides he'd be of more use if he was fighting. "I should go Bella, I'm of no use here", he says. "Wait", she says and grabs his hand. Their eyes meet. "Kiss me", she says breathlessly. Jacob can only look confused. "I'm asking you to kiss me", Bella says, taking one step closer. For a moment he doesn't believe it, but then he leans in and Bella responds in kind. They pause, just for a moment, and then their lips meet, ever so softly. It's strange to remember that Edward knows what's happening. He's not sure why, but it just makes Jacob want her more. He pulls her closer, kissing more passionately. "How does it make you feel", Jacob thinks, knowing Edward will hear it. Her hands on his chest, on his cheeks, it's the most incredible feeling. He kisses Bella one last time, savouring the kiss. When he pulls away Bella reaches for him. "I have to go"; he whispers. He strokes her cheek gently. Bella looks conflicted. Whether it's guilt from kissing him or if she's debating asking him to stay he can't be sure. "I'll be back", he says, hoping it'll comfort her, then he slowly steps away. She nods and he turns around, changing on his way down the hill. 

When Bella returns she looks at him apologetically. Edward already knows she kissed Jacob. He was close enough to hear his thoughts, loud and clear. Reading someone's mind has never felt like that before. It was almost as if he could feel what was happening. Had things been different he would probably have hated every minute of it, but now... it had felt like warmth washing over him. And Jacob acknowledging he would know felt... intimate. Bella starts to say something, probably an apology, but Edward raises his hand to stop her. "It's okay", he says, though he cannot quite bring himself to explain why. "Are you sure? I'm really sorry, I don't know what happened", she says looking worried. "You love him", Edward says, thinking back to the conversation he had with Jacob last night. "But I... I love you more", she says and takes his hand. "For now", Edward thinks, but he just responds with a gentle smile. Seth comes over to them in wolf form to inform them that the battle has started. "It's begun", Edward says looking at Bella. She looks worried and Edward finds himself worried too. Unexpectedly, he is more worried for Jacob than any of the others. 

Bella storms in to the room where Jacob lies wounded. His entire upper body is in bandages. She kneels by his bed and takes his hand gently. "How are you?" she asks and squeezes his hand, just a little. "I was more worried about you", he says. "I'm okay", Bella reassures him, "Why wouldn't I be?". "I knew Edward would read my thoughts", he says and feels a little embarrassed thinking about reminding Edward he knew he was in his head. "He wasn't angry", Bella says, "not at you either". Jacob feels strangely relieved. "You know what you said about making you choose?" Jacob asks quietly after a brief pause. "Yes, why?" Bella responds. "I won't make you", he says looking down at their joint hands. He's not quite sure what she will make of that statement, but he's glad to leave it to her now. "Okay", she says, looking a bit uncertain. It's what she asked for, but Jacob isn't entirely sure what she meant by it. Maybe she isn't either. "So are you finally willing to admit it", he says after a pause, "that you love me?" Bella smiles weakly, "I only held back cause it wouldn't make a difference". She looks almost sad, or maybe a little lost. "Do you still feel that way?" Jacob asks. "I don't know", she whispers, looking away. 

Bella left a few hours ago and Jacob has been struggling to fall asleep ever since. As soon as he dozes off the pain wakes him again. As he opens his eyes this time his heart jumps when he spots a figure standing at the edge of his bed. Edward lifts his finger to his lips. "Sorry if I startled you", he says quietly. The area must still smell sufficiently of vampire for him to be able to sneak in like this, but why? "I came to check up on you", Edward whispers, barely audible. Jacob struggles to sit up slightly and grits his teeth against the pain. He cannot quite name the feeling he gets looking at Edward. It almost takes his breath away, but feels neither good nor bad. "It felt intimate", Edward says softly as he kneels by Jacob's bed. "What?" Jacob asks, forgetting that he doesn't need to talk. "You asked me how it made me feel, to know that you were kissing her", Edward explains, "it felt intimate". Jacob blushes slightly. Edward looks down at Jacob's hand, laying palm up at his side. He looks at Jacob as if to ask "May I?", and takes Jacob's curiosity as a yes. Gently, Edward traces is finger down Jacob's wrist, along his palm all the way to the tip of his middle finger. They both shiver at the touch. Jacob's never known anything to feel like it before, but it felt... good. "I felt it too", Edward whispers breathlessly, still staring at Jacob's hand. Jacob swallows, not sure how to respond. With some effort he shifts his position to lift his hand. His thumb traces Edward's palm. "You really are cold", Jacob thinks and Edward smiles. Despite the cold, it feels nice to touch him. Gently, Jacob wraps his hand around Edward's wrist. Such a simple thing, but it feels exhilarating. Their eyes meet and without thinking Jacob tightens his grip. He didn't realise Edward's face was so close to his. "Why are we doing this", Jacob thinks and after considering for a moment, "Why do you want this?". Edward looks slightly flustered, but before he can respond they hear footsteps heading towards the door. "Meet me in two days", Edward says, so softly Jacob can barely hear it, "at the border". Someone grabs the door handle, and before Jacob's laid back down again, pretending to be asleep, he's gone. 

Jacob has finally decided to go after first deciding not to, then changing his mind and then changing his mind yet again. Firstly, it wasn't clear when exactly the meeting was supposed to take place. He has no idea at what time during the night Edward had come to visit him. Secondly, he wasn't sure Edward had actually meant for them to meet exactly two days later. Thirdly, the border between their territories stretches for miles, and he has no idea where along the border Edward had meant. Lastly, he had wondered if Edward had assumed he wouldn't be coming after hearing Jacob's immediate reaction, which had been not to come. Ultimately, Jacob had decided there was no harm in checking. He is almost certain the meeting would have to be sometime in the early morning, barely before sunrise. In terms of where, Jacob really had no idea, but he assumed somewhere neither the wolves nor Cullens would be likely to stumble upon them. To avoid the rest of the pack hearing where he's going he's walking in human form, which is taking for ever. Over the past few days, his frustration has been growing. It seems like some kind of cruel joke, he's finally seemed to find a way to stop pushing Bella away, just for him to be bonded with her vampire boyfriend for the rest of his life. In addition to it being cruel, Jacob cannot quite believe that it's possible. Despite his growing resentment though, he's felt an unbearable longing to see Edward again. Not in the way he wants to see Bella. This longing is stronger, yet despite that he doesn't actually look forward to meeting Edward. The more he thinks about Edward's reaction, the less he understands it. Over the last couple of days he's been going back and forth between being convinced Edward's toying with him and repeatedly playing the memory of Edward stroking his finger down his hand in his mind. Last night he even dreamt about wrapping his hand around Edward's wrist, looking into his eyes, seeing Edward's pupils dilate slightly when he tighten his grip, trying to read his expression. In the dream he kept tightening his grip, waiting for Edward to pull away or ask him to stop. When his hand crushed Edward's wrist into icy pieces, Jacob woke up. In the end, it was the desire to know the answer to the question he asked Edward two nights ago that made him decide to come tonight, "Why do you want this?" "Honestly, I don't know", Edward says, causing Jacob to spin in his direction. At first he's surprised, and a bit concerned, that he didn't smell Edward coming closer. Then he realises he did, he just didn't recognise the smell. Edward comes towards him and stops at the other side of the stream. His features look softer in the grey light of the early morning. Every cell in Jacob's body is begging for him to come closer. "Then why did you come? You didn't need to check up on me, Bella would've told you I was alright", Jacob thinks. "I was curious", Edward says and after a pause continues, "I wanted to understand how the bond affects me better". It doesn't impact the imprintee at all, Jacob could have told him that. "I know", Edward says, "and when I'm not around you it doesn't. But when I can hear your thoughts it's almost as if I feel what you feel, that's never happened to me before". "So the bond made you want to touch me?" Jacob asks in disbelief. That shouldn't happen, it doesn't work that way. Then again, none of this should be happening. "If so, only because it makes you want to touch me", Edward says, which Jacob can only interpret as him teasing him. Jacob would deny it, but Edward can already hear the part of his mind that's desperate for him to cross the stream. "Do you want me to?" Edward asks and adds after seeing Jacob's confused expression, "cross the stream". "I don't know", Jacob says averting his gaze, even though a part of him desperately wants to say yes. Then again, he cannot think of a reason to say no. It can't hurt. Before Jacob can look back at Edward, he has crossed the stream to stand next to him. Jacob's heart starts beating faster. Edward's barely a metre away. "You can touch me, if you want", Edward says quietly meeting Jacob's eyes. "Do you want me to?" Jacob asks, trying to read Edward's expression. After some hesitation Edward nods, "yes". Jacob takes a step towards him, lifting his hand, but then he stops, his fingers no more than a centimetre from Edward's collarbone, "Why?". Edward swallows, closing his eyes. He can hear Jacob's thoughts, that it is a struggle to keep from touching him and wishes he would just give in. He doesn't quite know why, but he knows that it'll feel good and he wants to lean into that feeling. Without being interrupted this time. "Please", he whispers and to his surprise Jacob yields. Jacob's fingertips feel warm against his skin and the warmth seems to spread through his chest. It's like nothing he's ever felt before. He cannot separate his own feelings from Jacob's, but he's sure they both want more just as badly. The feeling is even more intense than two nights ago, just from the slightest touch of Jacob's fingertips. Slowly, whilst paying close attention to Jacob's expression, Edward unbuttons one more of the buttons on his shirt. Jacob holds his breath and lays his hand against Edward's chest. Edward closes his eyes, letting the pleasurable warmth from Jacob's hand wash over him. Bella also feels warm to the touch, but it doesn't spread like this. He hears Jacob exhale and opens his eyes. "You don't trust me", Edward says quietly. He can hear Jacob's suspicion that he's toying with him. "Should I?" asks Jacob, a little out of breath. Edward smiles, "what would I be looking to achieve?". Jacob doesn't say anything, but his thoughts are loud and clear, "what are you getting out of this?". Edward gasps when Jacob pulls his hand away, the warmth disappearing with it. He swallows. "A new experience", Edward says licking his bottom lip. "It's rare for me nowadays". Jacob pauses. He supposes that makes a kind of sense. Edward goes to sit down on the fallen tree trunk to their right, hoping that disarming himself this way will relax Jacob a little. It works. Jacob takes a deep breath and turns toward him. Having the upper hand, even just barely, helps calm his mind. "Why do you like it?" Jacob asks looking down at Edward. Edward holds out his hand and Jacob takes a step toward him, laying his hand in Edward's. It's difficult to pinpoint exactly why, but the feeling of Jacob's skin against his is intoxicating. Carefully, Edward lifts the back of Jacob's hand to his cheek. He lets out a small sigh at the sensation, and then something falls into place. "It makes me feel more human, almost alive", he says breathlessly looking up at Jacob. At first that statement only makes Jacob more confused, but then it's as if Edward's hand and cheek begin to feel warmer. "They are", Edward says and the look he gives Jacob is almost grateful. Without knowing exactly why Jacob pulls back. Edward's glad he's sitting down, the sudden loss of warmth makes him feel dizzy. "Wait, I..." Jacob begins, dragging a hand through his hair. For brief second, Edward imagines Jacob's hands all over him, his body pressed against Edward's, it would almost feel like his body coming back to life. He shivers at the thought. "I don't think we should do this", Jacob says looking deeply concerned. The sensation does become more intense every time, and it has just occurred to him that what they're doing is probably making the bond stronger. "Maybe that's a good thing", the words seem to slip out of Edward's mouth of their own volition. Jacob stares at him. "Or at least..." Edward desperately tries to find something to say, "...maybe that's fine". He can tell Jacob remains unconvinced. "We've both wondered if, if maybe Bella doesn't want to choose either of us", he rambles on, "and if she wants us both, maybe, maybe it makes sense if..." Edward stops himself. Jacob's still staring at him, his thoughts too jumbled to read. Jacob is starting to feel seriously overwhelmed. "This is too much", he says, backing away. The thought that he might have ruined it, that he may never get to feel the warmth from Jacob's touch again, hits Edward like a boulder. "I'm sorry if I... If I said something I shouldn't have", he tries to sound calm, but doesn't quite manage it. "I have to go", Jacob says and turns to leave. Edward resists the urge to follow. He doesn't know what to do. Then he hears one of Jacob's thoughts, barely a whisper, "outside Bella's".

It's not uncommon for Edward to sit by Bella's window during the night. Hearing her steady breathing whilst looking out at the empty street has always felt calming, a good time to collect his thoughts. It's been almost a week since he last saw Jacob and Edward's starting to think that he either misread Jacob's thoughts or he has changed his mind about meeting. Edward has played their last meeting over and over again in his mind. He wants desperately to feel the warmth of Jacob's touch again. He's never felt that human since he actually was. It feels almost like he's become a little addicted, but he doesn't care enough to resist. If just a simple touch like that of Jacob's hand could make him feel that alive he has to know what more would feel like. He just hopes he hasn't ruined it. A few days ago he overheard Bella on the phone with Jacob, promising to meet this weekend. At least he hasn't decided to avoid them all together, that's something. Staring out on the street, hoping Jacob will appear, Edward cannot stop imagining what it will be like to be touched again. Constantly thinking about Jacob touching him, and not in the tentative careful way they've tried so far, has mostly to do with the intoxicating feeling of being brought back to life, but increasingly... if he's honest with himself it's becoming more complicated. He looks over at Bella, sleeping with her arm across her chest, the other stretched out across the bed. He'll miss seeing her like this. Turning his gaze back towards the street he sees Jacob standing on the street outside, leaning against a lamp-post. For a moment he doesn't quite believe it. Jacob's thoughts are just within range though, and Edward can hear that Jacob has seen him. Quietly, Edward slips out of the window and down to the street.

Jacob doesn't know how to feel about seeing Edward again. He decided to stop putting off the inevitable and meet him, but he doesn't know what to expect. "I know somewhere we could go", Edward says by way of greeting. Jacob doesn't bother responding, Edward already knows he'll come along. They walk to a large house further down the street with a massive "sold" sign hanging out front. "They're not moving in until next month", Edward says and walks over to the post box. He retrieves a key and goes to unlock the door. Jacob shakes his head, clearly mind reading has it's perks. Edward turns towards him and smiles before they both enter the house. "It's better if we're on the side facing away from the street, it'd be good if the neighbours don't see us", he says and Jacob agrees silently. The house still has most of the furniture in place, though it has no signs of anyone actually using it. He follows Edward down the hall. He opens a door leading to the room most hidden from the neighbours, but stops in the doorway when he realises it's a bedroom. "We don't have to..." he trails off turning to look at Jacob. "I'm sure it's fine", Jacob shrugs even though his heart is beating a little faster. Edward nods and walks into the room. He's not quite sure what to do, but after fidgeting with the keys for a moment he decides to sit down on the edge of the bed. Jacob relaxes his shoulders but Edward can also feel his reserve. Edward looks down at his hands. He feels like he should say something, but Jacob's one step ahead of him. "I need you to tell me what's going on in your head", he says quietly. It isn't fair that Edward has access to everything he thinks and feels, especially not in a situation like this, without giving much of anything in return. "You're right", Edward says but he struggles to continue. Waiting for Edward to find the words only makes Jacob more frustrated. "I don't have a choice, you know", he says, "soon enough my feelings towards you..." Jacob cannot quite bring himself to say it out loud, but he doesn't need to. "I know", Edward says, "I know, I..." the longer they're in the same room together, the louder Jacob's desire to touch him seems to become. Edward tries to ignore it, but it's difficult not to think about Jacob's hands all over his body. In all honesty he's impressed that Jacob is able to seem so calm. At least on the surface. "I can't stop thinking about how it feels when you touch me", Edward says looking up at Jacob. He doesn't know what else to say, it's the only thing he's certain of. "Maybe we can make it work, the three of us I mean", he continues, not sure if he's just saying it to get Jacob to touch him again or if he really means it. Regardless, it almost works, Jacob takes a step towards him, but then he changes his mind. "You mean you want to keep me around to get your fix?" Edward shakes his head. Hearing it spoken out loud makes it so obvious that it isn't what he wants. Not at all. "No, I", he struggles to find the words, "I don't know exactly, but Bella loves you and wants you in her life, and for better or for worse you'll want me around too..." Edward swallows. Jacob would rather Edward just tell him he'll never return his feelings instead of skirting around the issue. It's not like Jacob wants to feel this way, and there's no reason why Edward would either. If he can keep Bella in his life, surely Jacob can endure the pain that this bond will inevitably cause him. Though he doesn't exactly know what he wants from Jacob, Edward cannot bare the thought of him pushing him away for good. "I cannot promise you anything", Edward says, "except that I won't hold any of it against you". Jacob hesitates, but then takes another step forward. "But what do you want?" he thinks looking into Edward's eyes. He's close enough to reach him now, close enough that Edward has to tilt his head backwards to meet his gaze. "I want Bella to be happy, and I know you don't think I could ever want you the way you'll want me, but when you touch me I swear I..." he says breathlessly. Jacob wants to believe that the situation isn't actually hopeless. Maybe, just maybe, there's some sort of way... "Please", Edward whispers, closing his eyes. Jacob gently touches his cheek. He opens his eyes wide. The sensation is more intense than he remembers it being. He looks up at Jacob who looks deeply conflicted. "I never... I didn't even think it was possible that it'd be a man...", he says and trails off, leaving Edward to read the rest from his thoughts. Edward smiles sympathetically. Something in his expression must have been particularly revealing to make Jacob look so surprised. "I wouldn't be you first?", he thinks feeling oddly reassured. "I've been alive, more or less, for quite a while", Edward says, a little touched by Jacobs tangible relief. Jacob gently cups his face in his hand. Edward struggles to think as he feels the warmth spread. Slowly, Jacob traces his thumb across his lower lip. Without thinking Edward opens his mouth. Jacob's eyes widen slightly and Edward can feel his indecision. His hand slips down from Edward's face onto his chest. He can feel the warmth through his shirt, but Edward still resents the fabric for being in the way. Jacob is practicing an enormous amount of restraint to remain gentle, his heart pounding in his chest. "What if you gave into it?" Edward whispers, "just for a little bit". He takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself. Edward leans back on his elbows, lips parted. His eyes trace down to the hand on his chest and back up to Jacob's eyes. Maybe he could let go, just for a moment or two. Edward's eyes darken slightly. "You want me to?" Jacob whispers, he needs to hear Edward say it. "Yes", his eyes grow even darker. And at that, something gives. Jacob wraps his hand around Edward's throat, pulling him further onto the bed. Edward scrambles backwards, eyes turning black. Jacob straddles him ripping his shirt open. As his hands move up his sides, up along his neck to his face, Edward arches his back forgetting to breath. The warmth of the touch spreads from Jacob's hands down his arms, into his legs, it's almost too much. Jacob rips what remains of his shirt off him, leaning down, a little out of breath. Edward's almost convinced his heart has started beating again. Jacob traces his jaw slowly and he cannot help but let out a moan, his eyes rolling back into his head. Then he feels Jacob starting pull back ever so slightly, a worry that this is all a mistake forming in his mind. "I'm sorry", Edward gasps trying to collect himself. "I let myself get carried away, I didn't mean to..." the warmth pouring from Jacob's body is making it almost impossible to think. Edward notices a change in Jacob's mind. His desire to touch him, be near him, has up until this point been almost aimless. Simply a desire to keep Edward close mixed with a fair bit of curiosity. Now he can feel that desire changing, becoming more passionate, hungrier. Jacob sits up. Seeing him on top of him like this, Edward can't help but fantasize about him taking his shirt off, despite hearing Jacob's worry. "It's okay", Edward whispers hoping it will bring him closer again. Reading Jacob's thoughts, knowing what he wants to do to him makes Edward shiver. Those same thoughts are causing Jacob to feel increasingly conflicted however. His gaze keeps wandering to Edward's lips. "Please", Edward whispers reaching up towards Jacob's face. Jacob grabs his wrists, pinning them to the bed, and Edward cannot help but smile. Leaning over him like this, Jacob's lips are so close to his. "I won't hold it against you", Edward whispers, almost pleading. Jacob holds back for a moment, but Edward already knows he's decided. The anticipation feels unbearable. Then Jacob's lips are on his. The first kiss is gentle, though the high of it makes Edward feel like he's floating. Then, as Jacob becomes more eager, the kisses become more passionate. He slips a hand from Edward's wrist to the back of his neck. It's like the world disappears. Jacob pulls his shirt over his head and the feeling of his upper body against his makes Edward gasp for air. He knows they've both fantasised about this endlessly, but the real thing feels better than he could've imagined. The feeling of euphoria is overwhelming, luckily Jacob is happy to be in control. Some distant part of his mind is concerned that Jacob is bothered by the sounds he's making, the way he squirms when the pleasure is too much, but he cannot help himself. Then the kisses become gentle again. Jacob's trying to collect himself. He leans his forehead against Edward's, breathing heavily. He wants to stay and rip the rest of Edward's clothes off. But as good as that would feel, as good as this feels, it's too much, too fast. "No, please", Edward whimpers when he pulls away. He reaches for him, but Jacob shakes his head. "Don't", he says, making the plea sound more like a command. He pulls his shirt on and using all his willpower, gets off the bed. Feeling a little unsteady he sinks onto the floor, leaning his head on the bedframe. After a moment of catching his breath he says, "What are we doing". Edward's breathing heavily, trying to collect himself. Technically, he knows he doesn't need to breathe, but it feels like he does. The warmth is lingering and he feels even dizzier than last time as it slowly dissipates. Jacob closes his eyes, trying to decide on his next move. The sound of Edward's heavy breathing feels like it's beckoning him back into bed. It's strange wanting something so desperately, yet wishing he didn't. Edward sits up slowly, taking a deep breath. "It affects me differently to you", he says softly. Jacob sighs, "yeah, you don't say". As much as some part of him depsperatly tries to make it into something else, Edward's clearly high off his mind. That's why he keeps coming back for more. Jacob nearly says as much out loud until he remembers that Edward has already read his mind. He takes the silence his thoughts get in response as confirmation. Maybe that's okay, they'd both get something out of it after all, but it's a bitter pill to swallow. "Please don't go", Edward whispers as Jacob stands up and walks out the door. 

Edward sits on the bed till he doesn't feel the need to breath anymore. Now that he's alone and there's no warmth left, his mind feels a lot clearer. With that clarity comes the sinking feeling that he should know better. He picks up the torn pieces that's left of his shirt, slips out the backdoor and into the forest. As he starts running he drops the shredded fabric, there's no point bringing them back and he doesn't want any questions about it. He wishes he could simply untangle his feelings, figure out what the constant longing really means. When he reaches the house he slips in through his window. His room is as he left it, books scattered everywhere. If Jacob thinks this really is only about chasing a high for him, can he blame him? He gets a sweater out of his closet and pulls it over his head. It's a simple question really, does he only want the high or does his constant fantasising about having Jacob's hands all over him mean something more? Increasingly, he's starting to think it does mean more, but then again, that might just be the longing to feel human again growing stronger. He had thought he had finally made peace with his immortality, but getting to feel like a living breathing human being again has reawakened his hopeless desire to once again be mortal. And then there's Bella. Has he just talked himself into wanting Jacob in case she wants them both? He has imagined himself reassuring her that he doesn't mind because he has come to want Jacob just as she does. What if she doesn't? What if he's ascribed to her a desire that is really his own? What if she has definitively chosen him and his thirst for whatever it is Jacob does to him will only ruin it... The more he thinks about it, the less certain he feels about any of it. He slips out of his window and sets off running again. Bella should still be asleep. Wrapping his arms around her and forgetting about the rest of the world for a while has rarely been more tempting. He reaches her house, climbs up her window and into her bed. Feeling her warmth and breathing in her smell finally calms his mind. It occurs to him that maybe Bella is no different than Jacob. Her smell, his touch, has he just been chasing a high all this time? No matter how hard he tries to shake it though, burying his face in Bella's hair, holding her even closer, he can't quite shake that thought.


	2. Chapter 2

Finally getting to see Bella again has been keeping Jacob afloat the past few days. Or rather, the fact that he desperately wants to see her has. As his feelings for Edward grow stronger he has been clinging to the fact that he remains just as in love with Bella as he was before. It shouldn't be possible, once you imprint on someone everyone else should feel like an afterthought, but even as he feels the effect of his bond to Edward it has no impact on how he feels about Bella. It's a much appreciated comfort. In a way it helps him downplay all his longing for Edward. It can't be a true bond if he's still in love with Bella. What clearer sign could he be given that it must have been some kind of mistake? The sound of her car is audible way before it's visible. As she turns the corner Jacob does his best to push any thoughts of Edward out of his mind. The smile on Bella's face as she steps out of the car goes a long way to do just that. "Hi", she says and looks uncertain of what to do next. "Hi", Jacob replies, matching her smile. They stare at each other for a moment before Bella shakes her head and pulls him into a hug. Jacob lets out a sigh of relief, "I missed you". "I missed you too", Bella says against his shoulder. After a long moment of simply enjoying holding each other she takes a step back. "So, what's the plan?" she asks. Jacob gestures towards his bike, "thought we'd go for a ride". Bella nods, "sounds good".

She's not sure, but Bella suspects that Jacob's taking the long way round to wherever they're going. Not that she minds. Racing through the woods with her arms around him feels good. Not least because the wind's too loud to talk. All she's been able to think about for the past few days is what she would say to him once they met up again, but it got her nowhere. She still doesn't know what to say. It hadn't been easy to decide to be with Edward instead of him, but as painful as knowing she'd be loosing Jacob had been, she had felt sure she had to choose, put everyone out of their misery. Now she has no idea what to think or what to do. In a way it felt selfish to still want them both, but she would be lying if she said she didn't feel relived that Jacob still wanted her in his life. Even if Edward was staying in hers. But as much as Edward forgave her for kissing Jacob, and even though she doesn't doubt that he'd forgive her again, she can't hurt him like that. Besides, the ring on her finger keeps reminding her that she's already chosen. All this leads to an obvious conclusion, but she can't quite make peace with it. She can't lie to Jacob and say she doesn't want him anymore. When he was forcing her to choose between them it seemed simple, painful, but simple. She couldn't have them both, so she made a choice. Now that he isn't demanding she picks anymore, everything is more confusing. The trees are getting sparse and Jacob turns onto a smaller road, slowing down as the road gets more uneven, then he stops. "I think it's easier to walk from here", he says. Bella takes off her helmet and gets off the bike. "Cool...", she smiles, "where exactly are we going?". Jacob takes her hand smiles back, "you'll see". They make their way down the final bit of the road, barely more than a path really, in silence. It feels like they're both waiting to find the words, maybe hoping they'll be hiding somewhere out here in the wilderness. After a few more meters she understands where he's taking her. Behind the trees she can already see the landscape unfold. "That's incredible", she gasps when they get past the trees. They sit down at the edge of the trees, only a meter or two from the edge of the cliff and Bella can't keep from staring at the view in front of them. "You can see all the way to the ocean", she says already a bit lost in her own thoughts. Maybe she should have spoken to Edward about all of this before she came here, but what would she say? What was he supposed to say? She had thought the way he looked at her when she said she was going to see Jacob was odd, almost knowing, like he knew what was on her mind. He could be impossible to read though, and it was probably just something she imagined anyway. "Will you ever kiss me again?" Jacob asks looking at her wistfully. She blinks. It takes her a moment to process the words. "Yes", she says, the word falls out of her mouth before she can think it through. "Or..", she continues, shaking her head "I don't know, I'm sorry". He sighs and looks down at their hands. "Jacob, I really don't know what to say or do, it's all a bit confusing. I know that's not what you wanna hear, I want to have something clear and definitive to tell you, or at least know what to ask you, but I just don't know", she rambles before she stops herself. "But what do you want?" Jacob asks turning to look at her again. "I don't know", she says again looking down at her feet. Though, if she's honest, that's not entirely true, she knows what she wants, just not if it's fair to ask for it. "I mean, you know what I want", she says after a long pause. He squeezes her hand a little. "I didn't take you all the way up here for you to stare at your shoes", he says playfully. They both laugh quietly and Bella looks up. After a while Jacob starts chatting about how Billy would like Bella to come visit soon, his bickering with Sam and so on. Bella rests her head on his shoulder, it's nice to just be in each other's company for a while. 

"I don't expect you to know exactly how you feel about all of this yet", Jacob says. Before Bella can answer he starts his bike and they're on their way back. She feels a little relieved, but it doesn't change the fact that she knows that he wants more from her. Doesn't stop her from feeling guilty for keeping him waiting. As the trees rush past them Bella decides she will talk to Edward, she has no idea what she'll say or what exactly that conversation will result in, but there's no way around it. Even if all that happens is that he confirms what she already knows, at least then she wouldn't be able to pretend anymore. When she spots her car over Jacob's shoulder her heart sinks just a little. Now that she has decided to clear everything up and make up her mind about what to do about the mess she's made of her love life, these final few moments with Jacob feel so precious. When he stops the bike Bella sighs, but lets go of him and gets off. As she hands him back the helmet she says, "I'll talk to Edward. Not tonight, I won't see him but soon, I promise". Jacob looks a little worried and looks down at the helmet in his hands. "Why not tonight?" he says, fiddling with the chin strap. "Uhm, they're out hunting so..." she says and shrugs. Weirdly, Jacob looks up at her at that, noticeably more relaxed. He takes her hand and squeezes it. "But as I said, no rush", he smiles, "I can wait". She smiles back but shakes her head. "I need sort this out", she says and looks at Jacob, "for both of our sake". "Okay", he says, but his smile falters just a little. Bella pulls him into a hug. She wants to tell him she's sorry, but doesn't really know for what. "I love you", she whispers against his shoulder. The thought of kissing him again makes her pull him closer. "I love you too", he says and Bella closes her eyes, leaning into him. Could she really let him go for good? Even the thought’s too painful with him holding her like this, but what better option does she have? Gently she untangles herself. For a moment, she nearly leans in to kiss him before she thinks better of it. "I'll see you soon?" she says and smiles weakly. Jacob nods and takes a step back. "The sooner the better" he says as Bella opens her car door. Before stepping into the driver's seat she pauses to look at him. "Yeah, okay, I'll talk to you later", she says. Before driving off she awkwardly waves at him and then laughs at herself, shaking her head. Driving away she forces all the thoughts of what it would feel like if she never saw him again away, trying her best not to cry. 

Finding Edward would have been much easier if he could search as a wolf, but he can't risk anyone else in the pack finding out what he is up to. His best bet is to wait as close to the Cullen’s house as possible, hoping that Edward will overhear his thoughts, and that none of the other vampires will notice his presence. After much consideration he had originally decided to avoid Edward for as long as possible after the last time they saw each other. In a way, he suppose he has, it had just been significantly less time than he had anticipated. Somehow he has to convince Edward they can't tell Bella about what happened in the tent the night before the battle, or what has happened between them since. The more he's thought about it, the more sure Jacob is that Edward will want to. Maybe because he feels like she deserves to know, maybe because he actually thinks she'll go along with his fanciful daydreaming about all three of them being together, maybe a bit of both. Either way, Jacob has to talk him out of it. 

It takes Edward a moment to recognise the smell, but when it clicks the memories of the last time he and Jacob saw each other floods his mind. For a moment he feels as though he needs to catch his breath and falls behind the others. They won't think anything of it. It's perfectly normal for Edward to stay out in the forest after a hunt, letting his mind clear. Following his smell, it only takes a minute before Edward starts hearing Jacob's thoughts. "I didn't think you wanted to see me", Edward says as he spots him between the trees. Jacob spins around at the sound of Edward's voice. "I didn't, but we need to talk", Jacob says. Edward can't say he's surprised, but it still stings to hear the ice in Jacob's voice. "Bella wants to talk to me about you", Edward says, reading Jacob's mind. "Yes, and you need to keep what's happened between us to yourself", he says stepping toward Edward. "I don't want to lie to her", he says looking up at Jacob. "You should have thought about that sooner", he says turning away from Edward. His heart has started beating faster after being in Edward's presence again. Being away from him had caused Jacob a fair bit of pain, but now, being only metres away, keeping his distance is almost unbearable. "Jacob, I..." Edward steps toward him, "I agree we shouldn't have gone behind Bella's back, but we should tell her the truth". "What is that truth exactly", Jacob snaps, "what exactly do you think we should tell her?" Edward looks down. "Please, Jacob, I can't lie to her". "So you're going to tell her that you cheated on her because I imprinted on you and now me touching you gets you high?" Anger is creeping into Jacob's voice. "Yes", Edward says weakly. He can hear Jacob's decision to slam him against the closest tree seconds before he does, but Edward doesn't even attempt to move. Partly because it wouldn't make much of a difference, in fact it might just make Jacob angrier. Though if he's being honest, felling the heat from Jacob hands on his chest, even with his shirt in the way, is worth the mild inconvenience of being slammed into a tree. Jacob lays an arm across Edward's chest, pinning him against the bark. "She'll never forgive either of us if she finds out we lied", Edward says softly. A small part of Jacob's bare arm is pressed against the little bit of exposed skin below the pit of his neck. Edward is sure the feeling has yet again grown more intense, but it's possible it just feels like that because of how badly he's missed it. In any case, if Jacob notices it'll only aggravate him further. "I'm not losing her again", Jacob says, pushing Edward harder against the tree. As the warmth spreads up Edward's neck Jacob struggles to focus. It's becoming increasingly difficult to keep his mind from being dominated with thoughts of what it would feel like to make Edward his. He hasn't let himself really think about, but there's nothing he can do to get rid of the desire to claim him. Meeting Edward's eyes he can see them getting darker. Jacob recoils backwards, "what is wrong with you". "I'm sorry", Edward says, sounding ever so slightly out of breath. "Don't tell her", Jacob says after taking a moment to clear, "she won't be interested in your delusional fantasies about the three of us, so just leave it". "Why not?" Edward says taking a step towards Jacob. "If she doesn't want to choose, if I tell her she doesn't have to, why are you so sure she'll be so strongly opposed?" he asks. Jacob struggles to form a reply, but then again he doesn't really need to, Edward will know anyway. "If she can accept the werewolf and vampire thing, you really think she'll draw the line at..." Edward begins but Jacob interrupts him: "that she might draw the line at me fucking you? Yeah, I absolutely think she will", he snaps. If Edward's blood could still rush to his face he would have blushed at that. "I wasn't planning on putting it quite like that", Edward says a little too embarrassed to meet Jacob's gaze. "Don't worry about how you're going to word it, just don't say anything at all", Jacob says. "I can't lie to her, Jacob", Edward replies, still avoiding looking up. "Why does it bother you so much?" Jacob asks, aggravated. Edward looks up, but before he can ask he knows what Jacob means. "Seriously, you're comfortable literally begging me to touch you, happy to have me rip your clothes off, but you won’t admit that's what you want?" Edward swallows, "No, I just.. It's not the word I'd use, that's all", he says meeting Jacob's eyes. Jacob almost says something mocking, but thinks better of it. It's too late to really take it back, but it seems better to not say it out loud. "Okay, what about a compromise?", he doesn't wait for Edward's reply before he continues, "only tell her the truth if she asks for it". After a pause Edward says, "I can't promise you that". "Why not? If she asks you can tell her, if she doesn't just leave it", Jacob insists. "I'll think about it, but I can't promise", Edward says at last. Jacob isn't entirely satisfied, but he is also starting to feel incredible tired. "Fine", he mutters. He hesitates for a moment before walking away. 


	3. Chapter 3

Seeing Bella's truck coming round the corner unannounced already felt like bad news, but when Jacob spotted Edward sitting next to her in the passenger seat he felt his heart sink. Whatever Edward had ended up telling her had made her want to come see him and Jacob can only interpret that has a negative. She steps out of the car as soon as it's stopped and starts walking towards him. Thankfully she doesn't seem angry, but she does look a little upset. "What's going on", he says as soon as she's within earshot. "I was going to ask you the same thing", she says, a little out of breath. Edward's started walking towards them looking a little guilty. "What do you mean?" Jacob asks looking back at Bella. "I talked to Edward about you and me and.." she pauses gesticulating at nothing in particular and Jacob holds his breath waiting for her to continue, "well, I don't know, he wouldn't tell me". He tries his best not to look too relieved. As Edward stops a few metres away from them they both turn their eyes on him. "I told you to leave it", Jacob thinks, keeping his expression blank. "I tried, but.." Edward begins and trails off. His genuinely apologetic expression makes it difficult for Jacob to stay angry with him. Something in his chest tightens at the thought, but Jacob does his best to dismiss the feeling. Bella looks between them. "Tried what?" she asks. Neither Edward nor Jacob know how to answer her. Jacob wishes he knew what to say, but his mind is frustratingly blank. What had Edward already said? "I told Bella I'm okay with her seeing you, that I realise that you're no more a danger to her than me, on the contrary", a faint smile crosses his face, "and she wants to know what changed my mind". Jacob turns to look at Bella, who looks very confused. "I can read his thoughts" Edward says by way of reminder, and Bella's expression clears a little. "Could we have the rest of this conversation out loud?" she looks at them both. "Sorry", Jacob mutters. "We", he begins but has no idea where to go from there. He looks at Edward for support, but everything in his expression tells Jacob he hasn't changed his mind about telling Bella everything. "We talked about it that night in the tent", he continues weakly. "I know, Edward told me, but there's something he's not telling me" she says, frustration creeping into her voice, "and now you're doing it too!" Jacob swallows. "What makes you say that?" Jacob asks, but it isn't particularly convincing. "Jake, come on", she says. Edward looks pleadingly at him. The only alternative to telling the truth now is to lie to her. It felt a lot easier to tell Edward to do that than it does now when it's him standing right in front of her. "I.." he says looking at her, wondering if he could do it. He's sure he could think of a convincing lie, but could he actually go through with it? "It's a little complicated" he continues finally. "Okay", she says. The way she looks at him then settles it, he can't look her in the eye and lie, not this blatantly. Jacob looks up at Edward for a moment before looking down at the ground. Deciding to tell the truth and actually doing it are two very different things. "If you want me to?" Edward offers, taking a step toward them. Jacob's tempted, but takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. "I imprinted on him", he says quietly, a little horrified at hearing it said out loud. "And, uhm, it somehow affects him too, it shouldn't, but it does", he can't bring himself to look at Bella. "What.. how?" she asks, eyes darting between them. "I have no idea", Jacob sighs and drags his hands through his hair. "When?" Bella asks quietly after a pause. "A few weeks ago", Edward says. "You've known for weeks?" she asks, though it's more of an accusation. They both look at her then. She sounds just as hurt as Jacob feared she would. "I didn't know how to tell you", Jacob says, fighting to keep his voice even. "Doesn't that mean that you don't, you know, doesn't that mean you don't feel the same way about me anymore?" she says sounding so sad Jacob's heart aches. "No", he says hurriedly, stepping towards her, "that's what normally happens, but not with you, not at all". Without thinking he's grabbed her hand. She looks down at her hand in his and shakes her head. "Okay, but it does mean that you.." she trails off looking over at Edward. Jacob swallows. Something in his chest tightens painfully. Jacob's tried so hard to keep those feelings at a distance, to not even let himself think about it, and he's not sure the wall he's built can withstand him admitting it out loud. "I don't really know what to say", Bella says. Her hand slips out of Jacob's as she takes a step back. "We both agree we should do whatever you want", Edward says looking first at Jacob then at Bella. "But I.." she begins looking from one to the other. She starts walking towards her truck, dragging a hand through her hair. "This is all just a bit too much to take in", she says as she turns back towards them. A growing part of Jacob wishes he had decided to lie after all. He can't really tell how Bella's feeling, but it doesn't feel like this is going well. "We never meant to do anything to upset you", Edward says. "I know", she says, "I just..", she pauses, looking at Edward then Jacob, "I just need some time to think". And with that she starts walking towards her truck again. "You're sure we shouldn't go after her?" Jacob asks Edward anxiously. "Yes, I think we should let her have some time to think", he replies, watching as she gets behind the wheel and starts the truck. "If she decides to leave us both I'll kill you, I swear", Jacob says as she drives away, but he doesn't mean it. "Feel free", Edward answers with a little laugh. 

Bella doesn't know where she driving but it is a relief to be alone. It strikes her that she doesn't really know what has happened. She's almost certain she's not been broken up with, but beyond that nothing seems clear. Is she upset they didn't tell her sooner? Yes, but mostly she had thought for a moment that Jacob had been pretending to still be in love with her and that would have been worse. She takes a moment to check how much gas there's in the tank and luckily there's plenty. Ideally, she won't have to stop driving until this all makes some semblance of sense. Edward had said they'd do whatever she wanted to do, but the problem with that is that she hasn't got the faintest clue what it is she wants. "Though that's not quite true is it", she mumbles to herself. Essentially, they've just offered to do exactly what she has been too afraid to ask for. Apparently, they have agreed to let her have it both ways. After a quick glance down at her left ring finger she starts to feel the guilt build in the pit of her stomach. At a whim she decides to take the road back towards city centre and immediately regrets it. She really doesn't want to see anyone she knows right now. What is Edward getting out of this arrangement? Jacob had said something about the imprinting affecting them both, but what does that mean? She glances down at her phone, but she can't call him now, or text him. "Quick question, Jake, what did you mean by the imprinting affecting Edward to?" At the first red light she leans her head against the steering wheel and sighs. What does it even mean that they're giving her what she at least thought she wanted?

"So what do we do now?" Jacob asks and turns towards Edward. He's still looking down the road where Bella just disappeared around the corner. "We wait" he says with a sigh. Jacob isn't sure if that means Edward is about to leave or not. Before he can ask, Edward does instead, "do you want me to go?" Even considering asking him to leave creates an ache in Jacob's chest. He considers ignoring it, but meeting Edward's gaze he changes his mind. "We should go somewhere else though", he says and Edward nods. Here it's only a question of time before someone stumbles upon them. Jacob starts walking, knowing Edward will follow. Being alone with him feels a little dangerous, but he doesn't feel like fighting it. They reach the little clearing in the trees before either one of them says anything. "What do you think she'll say?" Jacob asks, as much to himself as to Edward, as he sits down in the grass. "I think she'll have a fair few questions", he says as he sits down a couple of metres away from Jacob. "Do you think she'll actually be okay with... you know". They sit in silence for a moment. The wind rustles through the trees and Jacob wonders if it will rain. "I do", Edward says finally. Just for a few seconds, Jacob let's himself imagine it. Bella leaning against him, holding his arms around her as she reaches a hand up to Edward's cheek, following the movement with his eyes till they fall on his face, his mouth and then finally his eyes. The feeling of longing is almost too painful, but Jacob still turns to look over at Edward. His eyes are just slightly darker than normal, a rich brown, his lips parted. Jacob inhales sharply as he looks away. "What if she doesn't" he asks, a little breathless. Edward lays down in the grass, taking a deep breath. "Then I don't know", he says. 

The light turns green without Bella noticing. Someone behind her honks their horn and she snaps back to the real world, scrambling to get the truck moving. She takes a left turn for no reason in particular, and then a right. What do they both want? It's nice that they've both decided they'll do whatever she decides on, but how is she supposed to decide if she doesn't really know what they want. Maybe she should call them, call Jacob, and ask... What exactly? Bella sighs glancing at the signs to get some idea where she's even going. Turns out the road she was just on is the one that'll get her out of Forks the fastest. She takes another right turn. There's something about the idea of getting to choose both that makes her a little anxious. If they’ve spoken about all this behind her back it must mean that they can stand each other now. It hurts a little, thinking about them knowing and choosing not to tell her for weeks. Vindictively, she considers making a decision and not telling them for a few weeks, see how they like it, but she dismisses the idea. Mainly because making a decision seems too daunting a task. She's almost out of the town now. It strikes her that she has no idea what the imprinting really means for her decision. More and more Bella starts too fell she should have stayed behind to ask about a hundred more questions. How is it even possible that Jake's feelings for her stayed the same? How is it even possible for it to be Edward in the first place? She feels like she's getting further away from knowing what she's gonna decide the more she thinks about it. Maybe she should call. She glances down at her phone, but doesn't pick it up. Maybe it means Jake wants Edward as much as she does. It's a strange thought, but what else could it mean, she's pretty sure that's how it works. Then again, she would have assumed a werewolf couldn't imprint on a vampire at all, but apparently that was possible. How on earth is she supposed to figure any of this out?

"I really do think she'll be open to it", Edward says. He has closed his eyes. Under different circumstances it would have felt so peaceful to lie here like this. He can tell Jacob's not entirely convinced. He can also tell that Jacob keeps stealing glances at him, his lips in particular. "I just hope she'll decide soon, one way or another, this waiting is unbearable", Jacob says and lays down in the grass. They shouldn't, but Edward can't help but stretch out his hand, just far enough that Jacob could reach it, if he wanted to. Jacob turns his head, his eyes on Edward's hand. "We shouldn't", he says wearily. They're both keenly aware that "shouldn't" and "won't" are different things. Slowly, Jacob lays his hand next to Edward's, so close Edward can feel the heat radiating from it. "You said there was someone else", Jacob says softly, keeping his gaze on their hands, "that I wouldn't be your first, that night in that empty house". Edward can't quite put his finger on why, but he feels a little nervous. "What was he like?" He's not sure if Jacob asked the question out loud or simply thought it. "I met him when I was on my own for a while, not too long after I was changed, and he was... assertive", he says and smiles. Jacob turns to lay on his side. "I had been on my own for about a year and I was so lonely", hearing Jacob's silent question he adds, "I left Carlisle and Esme for a while, mostly just out of weakness, I decided that if I only drank the blood of the worst people I could find it wasn't so bad, so I spent my time hunting and waiting to be thirsty enough to hunt again, it was pretty miserable". Edward tries for a laugh, but Jacob doesn't join in. "Anyway, he stumbled upon me and for whatever reason decided he wanted me", Edward pauses for a moment. He looks over at Jacob who meets his gaze. "I've never told anyone, not really. Alice knows there was someone, but none of the details", he says and Jacob isn't sure how to respond. "It's okay, you don't have to say anything, I just want to tell Bella myself", Edward explains. "Okay", Jacob agrees and hopes Edward doesn't mean that he wants to tell Bella first. "No, no, I'll tell you as much as you want to know now, I didn't mean..." he trails off but then says "he was also a vampire, had been for a little longer, and like I can read minds he could always tell what you wanted". Jacob feels a pang of envy, knowing what Edward wants at all times would make his life a fair bit easier. "I'd argue you do know", Edward says quietly, looking back down at their hands. Jacob follows his gaze and feels desire well up inside him. Could it really hurt to briefly brush against his fingers? Looking back up at Edward he sees his eyes have gotten darker. He supposes Edward's right, he does know what he wants, what they both want, at least right now. Carefully, Jacob lifts his hand closer and with just one finger he gently strokes the side of Edward's hand. 

Maybe that's all she needs to tell them. She isn't sure what it would actually mean for her to have it both ways, she not entirely convinced Edward won't be disappointed and as much as she appreciates how generous they're both being she's not going to disregard what they want. Bella sighs and drags her hair out of her face. "What a mess", she mumbles to herself. Do they want each other? Well, obviously Jacob wants Edward now, at least something like that, but what about Edward? She catches herself biting her nails. The idea of having to share Edward makes her nervous. If she wants Jacob it's only fair if she accepts to share him with Edward. Maybe share is the wrong word. Staring ahead at the nearly empty road does help clear her mind though. She doesn't know what it all means, so she can't really make a definitive choice. What she can ask for is for them to figure it out together. Not that she has any idea what that would look like. She relaxes back into her seat a little. The idea of the two of them even having a civil conversation seemed almost too much to hope for only a day ago and now... It is almost difficult to imagine Jacob wanting Edward around in any capacity. The way Edward spoke about him last night when she asked him about her and Jacob was so gentle, almost affectionate. Were they really starting to like each other? Bella can't help but smile at the thought. She really could get used Edward and Jacob being friendly, if nothing else. 

The warmth barely has time to spread through Edward's fingers before Jacob pulls away. "I can't do this", Jacob says as he sits up. As soon as their fingers were touching, thoughts about everything else he'd like to do forced themselves to the front of his mind, thoughts he's been working very hard to keep hidden not just from Edward but from himself. He ducks his head between his knees for a few breaths, collecting himself. "I can't just have a little bit and then get nothing, it's just too..." painful, he thinks as he raises his head, but can't quite bring himself to say it. Edward raises himself onto his elbows. Getting a taste of Jacob's touch has only made him want more even more desperately, but he swallows hard and tries to shake the feeling. "That's fine, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have started it", Edward says apologetically. It takes a moment before either of them say anything. The clouds are getting darker, it's only a question of time before it starts raining. "Do you think she'll be angry that we've..." Jacob swallows. "That we've kissed each other?" Edward asks, but as he could tell from Jacob thoughts that it was where he was going continues, "not that it's about keeping score, but after she kissed you the day of the battle the boundaries have been a little unclear". He can tell Jacob's still a little worried about Bella's reaction, but less so now than before he asked. "Since you're so sure she'll be okay with the two of us, what would that actually mean for you, like, what do you want from me?" Jacob asks, though he doesn't turn to look at Edward. "I want to get to know you better and I want you to get to know me as well, cheesy as that sounds", Edward says and smiles. Jacob turns to look at him then, but abruptly turns back as thoughts of what he wants from Edward starts creeping to the forefront of his mind. "And I want those things to", Edward says quietly. "Not just because of what you touching me does to me, though that too, but I'm pretty certain that even if it didn't feel quite like that I'd still be interested", he adds, pretty sure he'd be blushing if he still could, but also a little relieved to have admitted it out loud. As Jacob takes a deep breath, not sure how to feel, he feels a raindrop hit his wrist.


End file.
